The 3am Reset

Those early morning wake ups can be so frustrating - why?!

What’s really going on and what can you do about it?

You’ve had a long day. You’re exhausted. You've been problem-solving all day. Making decisions, responding to emails, attending meetings, people demanding your time and energy - doing what you’re here to do.

And you’re doing a great job.

You get to bed at the right time, turn off your phone, do all the ‘right’ things and yet get to sleep ok.

But every night, at 3:00 am - bang, you’re awake and you’re there for the night, tossing and turning, checking the clock and counting down the hours, just wishing you could do something to get back to sleep. You’ve got to do it all again in the morning - come on brain, switch off and let me sleep!

So, what’s really going on? Why are you waking up?

Our bodies naturally start to have a rise in cortisol between 2:00 and 4:00 am. This is to prepare our body for waking up in the morning, to have the energy to get up and embrace the day.

If your stress level is too high throughout the day, then that cortisol doesn’t drop naturally as it should and so that extra burst over-stimulates your system and wakes you up.

You get stuck in this loop of not enough sleep and then pushing through and then not enough sleep. You might sleep through the night on the odd occasion but that sleep debt can’t be made up from 1 or 2 good night’s sleep a week.

There are things that you can do to change that pattern and improve your sleep and I’m going to talk you through them right now.

Ready? Let’s go!

The Brain Dump

This is a brilliant tip to use any time and when you get into the habit of doing it, everything feels more under control. Humans like to ‘do’ things - we like to take action. Our emotions are there to stimulate us into action and when there’s nothing to be done - particularly whilst staring at the ceiling for hours through the night - the emotion gets louder and more intrusive.

Action can take any form. The brain dump is simply writing down all the things that you need to do, haven’t done, niggles, worries, people, situations - everything - that’s taking up space in your mind. The act of writing it down is an action. Your brain sees that you’re taking action, it knows you won’t forget and it can let it go.

This is good for the daily tasks of life - booking the car in for an MOT, paying a bill or sending an email - but it’s also good for the ‘extras’: review partnership agreement, or make a plan for my retirement.

Whatever it is, big or small, get it out of your mind and on to paper - I would recommend writing rather than typing into your phone (make a list on there too if you need to) - but that connection of brain to hand will feel even more accomplished.

If you can, spend some time adding EVERYTHING under the headings:

Short term, Long term and Bonuses

Going deeper, you could put a time next to each task for how long you think it will take to complete and even better, when you’re going to do it.

Make decisions, diarise or delegate and start taking action in a realistic time-frame. Remember to tick things off when they’re done - that’s a great hit for your mind and keeps the momentum going.

And then, before bed, you can do a list of things that you need to let go of from that day. This list should be fairly short and succinct - you don’t want to go too much into detail. Simply notice what’s in your mind and make a note to come back to it in the morning.

Emotional Freedom Technique aka Tapping

EFT is a fabulous tool. It’s a process of tapping on specific points on the head and hands to clear blockages in the energy system. This allows the body and mind to relax, release and let go.

Using EFT after doing your brain dump will help to clear out what you’ve written down and calm your system, knowing you’ve done everything you can and that it’s now time to relax and switch off.

Check out this video on YouTube and let me guide you through a lovely, relaxing and calming process before bed.

Breathing Technique - If You Wake Up

The key for your body and mind if you wake up in the night is to gently let yourself ease back into sleep and rest. If you wake up thinking about something, then add to the brain dump list - again without stimulating yourself too much - this is not problem-solving time, it’s sleep time (although you may find you start waking up in the mornings with solutions to your problems as your sleep starts to settle).

Go to the bathroom if you need to, sip some water and then get comfy again.

Now, as you breathe in, tense every muscle in your body, hold it for a second and then let go as you breathe out. Repeat this two or three times. It helps to clear the cortisol from the muscles and sends a signal that you are relaxed and safe.

Now rest your tongue on the roof of your mouth behind your upper teeth.

Breathe in for a count of 4/5 and then breathe out for a count of 6/8.

The number doesn’t matter, the important thing is that the out breath is slightly longer than the in breath. Again, this is sending the message “I am safe” to your brain and body. The longer out breath activates your parasympathetic nervous system - your body's natural rest and recover state - and signals to your brain to switch states. The counting can help but if it distracts you, simply focus on your tummy, or wherever feels most comfortable for you.

Listening

Our brains emit a frequency at different times of the day:

Gamma - Peak focus, high-level information processing.

Beta - Awake, alert, active thinking, problem solving, stress. Where most of us spend our day. Where your brain is at 3am when it won't switch off.

Alpha - Relaxed but aware. Calm, creative, meditative. That lovely floaty feeling just before sleep. Daydreaming. Eyes closed, breathing slowing.

Theta - Deep relaxation, light sleep, the hypnagogic state (that in-between place). Where creativity and insight live. Where you want to be at 3am.

Delta - Deep dreamless sleep. Restoration, healing, growth hormone release. The gold standard of sleep.

The breathing and this next process - listening - move the brain into the Theta brain wave.

Other actions that stimulate Theta are: reading fiction, counting backwards, monotonous sounds/white noise and this listening technique.

After your breathing - or during if you can do them both without thinking about it too much - put your listening focus as far out of the room as possible. Maybe you can hear traffic, or a plane or the wind outside. Just listen for a sound and focus on it for a little while.

And now find a noise that’s closer to you - the heating humming away or the fridge in the kitchen a sound that’s in the room, or not far away. Again, simply notice this for a minute or two.

And now, focus on a sound inside your body. Your heart beating, your tummy gurgling, your breath but imagine you are inside. Notice for a few minutes.

And now, bring your attention to the sound nearby again, for a short time, and then the far away sound and then back closer and into your body.

You can keep doing this noticing closer and further away and inside and you will feel that shift into Theta.

If you can’t hear any sounds, then simply imagine them.

Be mindful of any recurring thoughts or concerns that come up during the night, these are clues as to what might be going on under the surface.

I hope you find this guide useful! Do let me know how you get on.

If you want to go further and see how we could work together to resolve your sleep patterns, then you can book in a call with me here: Schedule

In the meantime, sweet dreams!

with love,

Jemima x